My father tells the story that in his younger days his aunt gave him a book and humorously suggested, “You should really read this.” He now admits, “Boy, did I ever need to read it.” Convinced by my father’s influence, I purchased the book on CD four years ago and have listened to it at least once a year since, and will continue. Warren Buffett took a course on the book when he was 20 years old and still proudly displays his diploma at the office. That book was originally published 78 years ago, in 1936, and has sold over 15 million copies worldwide. The book is filled with real-life experiences from housewives to the greats of mass enterprise from the day. The spectrum is wide, but the subject is singular… people.
I can’t imagine Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People not being in any leader’s tool belt – for that matter, anyone who interacts with people. Here’s a synopsis of what you can expect:
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re Wrong.”
- If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.